self-love?

I need to learn how to love myself. For the way that God has made me and the gifts He's given me.

I really hate myself right now.

I set really high expectations for myself and I always fall short.
I need to stop relying on others because I don't 'trust' myself.
Talking to Eric on Monday made me realized that I've never really been affirmed about anything before in my life. I'm conditioned to be self-reliant and self-sufficient. I need to not blame others and just take responsibility. I need to trust my own abilities and my instincts and judgments. I need to stand firm and be firm.

It just seems like every time I'm vulnerable it 'backfires'. GAH. I don't know.

God, I really need Your help right now :( I need to feel Your presence and Your comfort..