a cry for help

I am really angry right now.

I am disappointed myself and I feel utterly pathetic.
My sleeping schedule has been off for the past month. I've barely gone to class for the past couple weeks. I haven't attended single BA lecture for this new module. Ethnic Studies discussion for three weeks. Stats since Boat Dance. Just typing this makes me feel ashamed.

I don't even know what to do with myself.

I can't seem to find motivation to concentrate during Crunchtime. God, please lift up my heavy heart and all the burdens along with it. I feel Satan snickering in my ear right now Father, laughing at how victorious he has been lately. God, please just deliver me from this listlessness. God, please restore diligence into my life. This is a hard prayer for me God. I'm just sick of feeling idle and useless. God, remind me why You have placed me here once again. Remind me that I am Your precious daughter God. God Your heart for us is so big, that I almost wish there was some way You would reprimand me.

God, please just help me move on from my guilt ridden self. Set my chains free. Renew my spirit and soul God, because they have been so burdened and bogged down by the weariness of this broken world. Lord I long to be pure like You. Draw me closer to You God.

God heal me from my sickness, the one developing physically and the blockade mentally in my mind that is preventing me from worshiping You through my studies. God, please just grooow me abundantly in the ways You already have this past year. God, please just rescue me..

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Hosanna, Hosanna
Hosanna in the Highest
- Hillsong United, Hosanna