the darkest season

of my life. Right now. Right here.

I want to hunger for something deeper.
I want to lifted from our brokenness, and set to fly on wings like eagles. I want to run and not grow weary. I want to walk and not be faint. Holy Spirit, please descend upon me and consume me.

I am really angry with myself right now. I feel so isolated and alone. I think this is God's way of telling me that I cannot and should not rely on anyone else besides Him. I realize that He is working in my relationships and friendships, but all of us are still human. We are sooo broken that we can't count on each other 100% of the time. We hurt each other (intentionally or not). We are incapable of showing true, perfect love like the way God loves us. God, please reveal to me how I can seek You and serve You. I am so tired of putting up this front with the world. I am sick of failure, pain, fear and rejection. God, please just feed me Your Living Water. Please envelop me in Your Light.

God please shine Your Light on me, so that I can shine it on others.
Please allow me to bless those in my life through Your presence and Your works.

Dad, continue to mold me through these trials and sufferings. For I know that I need to be weak for me to be strong.

I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
- Matt Redman, "You Never Let Go"