unrealistic expectations.
where do they come from?
they are not from Him. they are not from my family. they are not from anyone around me.
the need to be perfect, to stretch myself sooo thin.
to do my best. to do the impossible.
perfect.
what does it mean to be perfect?
the perfect student. friend. roommate. girlfriend. sister. sister-in-christ. daughter. small group leader. volunteer. volunteer coordinator. ugsi. coleader.
so many different roles. so many hats.
are there that many?
why can't i excel at any of them?
burnt out.
i hate those two words.
suffocating. tired. DONE.
i never wanted to admit i was burnt out. i wanted to be the one to bring life. to bring joy.
pride?
success.
yoked to the world.
burdens of the world.
taking advantage of opportunities.
forgetting that God transcends opportunities.
forgetting that He is not limited.
His gifts are abundant. good. plentiful.
that He is generous.
daughter.
i am finally reminded of my identity.
this is what He calls me.
genesis 1:27 - i am made in His image.
psalm 139:14 - i am fearfully and wonderfully made.
exodus 19:5-6 - i am treasured.
isaiah 43:4 - i will not be put to shame.
colossians 3:12 - i am chosen.
1 corinthians 2:16 - i have His mind.
romans 8:28 - i am called for His purpose.
mark 1:11 - i am His beloved.
isaiah 43:4 - i am precious and honored in His sight.
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luke 10: 38-42
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord don't you care that mys ister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
hi Jesus.
thanks for reminding me through kathy khang's essay in 'more than serving tea' that my relationship with You comes first. thank You for showing me that even though Martha was being hospitable and doing what was culturally and socially expected at the time, You call us to be like Mary and to SIT. still. at Your feet.
Lord Jesus, teach me how to be obedient to You. teach me how to say 'no'. teach me how much more important it is for me to BE. rather than to DO. teach me how to radically declare my faith and live out my foremost calling as Your daughter. teach me not to run towards, or run away my many roles, but to first choose to be Your disciple.
please teach me about grace, courage, freedom.
please walk along side me, carry me and love on me.
please open my eyes to see the blessings and relationships that You have gifted me. they are all soooo good Jesus.
please soften my heart so i can receive grace and love.
please tear down my pride so i can be refilled again.
make me whole!
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why don't you see things through God's eyes?
can you try to let others care about you?
thank you.
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philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
burdens. joy. peace.
