Sunday, January 11, 2009

resolution

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. 1 John 2:15-17

Today, Pastor Chris Yen preached at Chinese for Christ Church - CFCC Hayward - about the temptations of the world from 1 John.
  • The cravings of sinful man -the preoccupation with our physical needs. His visit to Las Vegas embodied his realizations - how we are a culture consumed with living in excess, with glam and over-the-top glitz.
  • The lust of his eyes -cravings and accumulation of material things. We try to fill our emptiness with stuff - how they are a temporary satisfaction, the way tylenol temporarily solves our headaches.
  • Boasting of what he has and does - obsession with our non-existent status and pride. We flirt our way into acceptance by this world by putting up an image and facade of success.
So why were these specific three things included?
==> They were the same three temptations used by Satan on Eve and Jesus.

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. Genesis 3:6

If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread. If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written: "He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone." The devil took him to a very high mountain, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. "All this I will give you, if you will bow down and worship me." Matthew 4: 3, 6, 8-9

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Is this why my semester was so miserable?
I am disappointed in the ways that I have despised myself - a daughter of God, a creation perfect in His eyes. I haven't clutched onto His word or clung onto His voice in the last 16 weeks. I hadn't believed in Him - hadn't trusted that He could provide.

What you love is proof of who you love.

I miserably spent an entire semester trying to weave together a facade of intimacy with God when I could not have been more far from it. I was obsessed with putting up this front of "busyness" to justify my lack of investment in relationships. I was a control freak. I wasn't able to give up anything for God - I hung onto my grades, my Haas app, my term papers, even clothes and food. Yes He delivered me so faithfully through my trials, but they did nothing to challenge my understanding of Him, my understanding of His world, my understanding of myself. I am so ashamed to even admit how much time I've spent on Facebook looking at other people's profiles and pictures, envying their lives, envying their image of success and happiness through the world's eyes.

Going to CFCC Hayward the past few weeks reminded me the goodness of fellowship. I got to experience a taste of relationships that were sooo grounded in Him. I was able to witness brothers and sisters basking in His glory, together. The first time I set foot in the church was at my brother's baptism last year. All I remember thinking was - I really want to get plugged into this community. The world and His creation was meant to be so simple, elegant and beautiful - perfect relationship and intimate fellowship with Him 24/7.

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Ambition.
I remember the ways I used to come up with long bullet point lists of resolution in high school: to up my gpa, to lose weight, to get better in badminton
, to get more involved with Interact. I had all these specific little aspects of my life that I wanted to improve.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

So that will be a resolution this year - to let go of a little control, to trust in His plan, to steward the possessions and talents and passions He has gifted me. All of this in order to restore my relationships and experience intimate fellowship with Him. Nothing tangible about grades, relationships, boys, finances, time management.

I will trust in the skill set He's given me and do my best.
Because He is sovereign.
Because He is pleased.
Because He's got my back.
Because His Will and Kingdom will carry on.
Because He loves me.
And because I want to be able to scream back at the top of my lungs that I love Him too.